Jimbob's Journal TIMES - page 2

  GREAT HISTORICAL B.S. 

  

> The master race
> I am not a crook
 > We don't want your land
> I was only following orders
> Read my lips - no new taxes
> I did not have sexual relations with that woman
> The Domino theory (actually, the dominoes fell in our favor)

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  JIMBOB PREDICTS 

  

> You can't see the future, but it can see you - send it a message
> 2026 - German oompah music will top the U.S. pop charts. All the kids will be wearing leiderhosen
> Immortality will be achieved not through bio-science, but through computer science - conscious machines
> Even though Death always wins in the end, Wheaties will continue to refuse to put Death on their cereal box
> In the next 50 years: Politicians will have "mascots" - people in funny costumes who follow them around and amuse the crowd, thus distracting them from any serious issues. Eventually, the mascots will replace the "real" politicians, and assume the offices themselves 
> 2047 - Brains on chairs (or possibly on foot stools or pedestals). We will no longer have a need for bodies
> 2009 - Chubby Checker will return, bionically enhanced, and with accompanying computer graphics and laser beams, and he will become a Twistin God!

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  SIGNS OF TIMES 

  

- - -The 60's - - -
> It's a sunny day in 1969 , I'm cruisin' out in the country with my friends , listening to the sounds of our favorite longhair heroes. Those where heady times indeed, and yes, we did change the world in our own way, just like we were meant to do.

- - - The Fast-Paced Turn of the Century Era - - -
 > Guy on cell phone in public toilet stall / 30 seconds is a horribly long wait / Street people with Sony Walkmen
> Guy in car behind me simultaneously talking on phone, picking nose and flashing high-beams to pass me
> You Know you're too rushed when you find yourself eating breakfast as you're changing the kitty litter
> Doctor calling his stock broker while performing surgery (in the future a robo-surgeon will call its broker...)
> TV ad:; When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, call LEGAL-10
> Everything beeps, nobody sleeps. Business is boomin' for everything human
> The recent popularity surge of football over baseball distresses me. It is idicative of a trend toward less finesse and more brute force. Football has a little finesse, but it's like staging a ballet in a minefield
> Dealing with big-city beggars: I respond mostly to my level of fear. When a guy comes up flailing his arms and ranting about why he needs money, I'm just waiting for him to stop so I can give it to him and make him go away. Unfortunately, the really pathetic ones are too easy to walk away from. For example, there was one guy who seemed to be permanently bent at a 90 degree angle, dribbling profusely from every orifice. To each passerby, he would say, "Gah nah chaaang, mah?, without ever straightening up (I guess he could see their feet). Of course, being no threat, he got nothing. An analogy; Which mode of telemarketing is more successful, pushy salespeople or recorded messages?
> A TV ad for a landscaping company says that they will perform a fourteen-point analysis of your lawn. If you believe that your lawn has fourteen things worth analyzing, you deserve to lose your money
> In light of the geometric expansion of information technology, writers need to be concise. There is so much data to wade through that any individual can only read a fraction of it. (Of course, history will filter out the junk, but some good stuff may never be dicovered)
> The James Brown song, "I Feel Good", is a laxative commercial

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GREAT DISCOVERIES

  

Of My Lifetime
> TV / Portable radio / Space flight / Multi track tape recording / LSD / Computer / Satellites / Healthy diet
> Of course, being a man, I'd have to say the TV remote control. The original remote control consisted of the man saying to the woman, "honey, would you change the channel please?. No, not that, try another channel. No. No. No. Try that first channel again. No.".

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 POLITICS

  

 > Sure, people kill people, but we can't ban people
> Globalism vs Tribalism is the struggle we globalists must win
> I'd rather have the President's finger on a love button than a war button
> Politicians are just highly paid janitors, but they have the keys to all the offices
> When I hear people whining that they can't make it in America, I have to wonder, "well then where do you think you could make it?
> It was OK having a president who was an actor, but I'd like to see a dancing president in my lifetime. I'd also like to see a president with multiple personalities (actually, only one of the personalities would be president)
> We used to say we needed guns to protect our families. Now we say we need guns to protect our guns.
> The fear that the U.S. government would - or could - go to every American household and take the guns away is indicative of a mind so feeble and paranoid as to defy belief.
> Remember Vietnam, America, remember 55,000 who never saw the marvelous things that we have seen, at a great cost to the world. I thought it would be the war to end all (American) wars and in a way, it was - partly because of unprecedented popular resistance, and partly because new technologies have decreased the need for large armies.
> Establishment Plots : Disco / Country / Booze / "Stupid" drugs / Fancy cars / Credit cards> The most important criterion in choosing a person for public office is hair. If there is no hair that stands out, proceed, in order, to eyebrows, teeth, gender, and ethnic background.

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 SENIORS

  

> Senior Olympics events; Slow Fancy Walkin' / The four-foot dash
> Warning signs of old age: When you say "that's enough" thirty seconds after someone stops pouring your drink / when 65 miles per hour in a car seems terribly fast
> Best things about growing older: Loss of predjudices & broadening of tastes / More self-confidence
> Don't you hate it when your watching a game and you can't remember which side you're rooting for.
> I keep Dollar Store reading glasses all over the house, 'cause I loose track. One day, I wound up wearing 3 pair all at once - one on top of another, and the 3rd on the top of my head. Everything looked huge! That, plus the extra weight on my head made me careen this way & that.
> When you don't have kids, and you don't go outside much, you completely forget what time of year it is. Is it Christmas? Is it Easter? It's all of them rolled into one!

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 WHAT IF  

 > JFK had served 2 terms, and Bobby succeeded him ?
> Neil Armstrong fell off of the moon lander and sued NASA
> We had vigorously continued manned space exploration after 1969 ?
> TV commercial time became so expensive that advertisers could only afford one-second spots ?
> What if the communications revolution led not to one world, but to a world of many disparate factions?
> John Lennon's excuse should have been: "No, you misheard me, I said the Beatles were more popular than Jesus Weist"
> What if people became so used to constantly communicating with other people that they lost the ability to think and act on their own?
> If the United States had lost the revolutionary war in, say 1780, would we still have been considered an independent nation for those four years after the declaration? If not, then why do we count those years before we won the war as part of our national existence? Balls, that's why.

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OBSERVATIONS

  

 > I think rock n' roll music and the spirit of exploration both peaked in 1969 (Abbey Road, moon landing). Both events are still waiting to be surpassed or equaled
> We are very lucky to be living at this particular spot in history - i.e., between World War Two (too much excitement) and brains on chairs (none whatsoever)
> World War Two was the golden age of schlepping (moving matter), today is the golden age of communication (moving iinformation)
> Now, as an older person, when I look at a peer, I don't feel a sense of being old together, but of having been young together - of shared experience
> Hell, I remember the 60's - it's everything after that I can't recall
> My era seems to be an age of teamwork in arts & sciences (Disney films, moon landing, etc.), as opposed to the classic "lone-wolf genius" era.
> California is the America of America (and I'm goin' there when I die)
> America is a wild, drunken party, but there's gonna be a huge hangover someday.
> Just as you are the sum total of your experiences, humankind (e.g.) is a sum of its collective past. A people without a history is like a head without a body. It will soon die (huh?). It will build chaotic web and crappy-lookin anthills. One thing our history does for us is wade through the plethora of information and pass down the good stuff. For every Mozart, there were dozens of Salieri's.

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 CHRONOLOGY

  

Public Events That Shaped My Life
47 - Gandhi murdered / I am born (there's a trade!)
57 - Transistor radios, rock & roll
63 - JFK murdered / March on Washington / Beatles arrive
65 - Pot, LSD, making the scene (well, my scene). Days of heady wonder
66 - Vietnam heats up / draft protests
68 - MLK and RFK murdered / Chicago riots
69 - Woodstock (I was there, sort of) / Moon Landing (ditto)
70 - Beatles, kaput
72 Animal Rights emerges as a movement
76 - Nixon resigns / Bicentennial
80 - Lennon murdered / "Personal computers" appear
90's The internet / Everyone remembers where they were when they heard that Pat Boone had lost his mind
92 - Clinton elected . The first boomer / hippy president. I guess my generation has arrived

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QUOTES  

> I used to think that love was the answer. I still do
> Each generation solves a piece of the puzzle (or perhaps is a piece of the puzzle)
> Don't worry about being right for the ages - you can't possibly know - just be right for your time

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MY HOMETOWN  

> Learn to talk Philly
> I live in a section of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (USA) known as Germantown. See my essay
> The city's greatest assets, in my opinion, The park system, the Mummer's parade, the diverse cultures. It has the excitement of a big city, but not so big as to be overwhelming. It is a city of neighborhoods, a city of green (10% park land)
> Visit Philadelphia at http://www.philly.com/

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