Jimbob's Journal RE:ME -Page 2

EARTHLY  GOALS
 
> To meet Paul McCartney
> To have my own line of perfume for dogs
> To die in my sleep on my 123rd birthday
> To make Willi am F. Buckley call me "Flippy"
> To open "Jimbob's House of Beauty for Men"
> To make "Farbledib" an internationally recognized nonsense word
> To tell each person in the world individually that I think they're an idiot. (by the way, you're an idiot - please put a large red X on your forehead, and add the suffix "blarnf" to your name)
> To compile, once and for all, the definitive list of "things that go 'boing' ". This will be of great use to future generations, and will undoubtedly secure my place in history. For that I am (in advance) humbly grateful. Thank you all so much
> In my Dreams: To sing like Sinatra, dance like Astaire, fly like an eagle, run like a cheetah , write the great American musical / movie/ novel, and date the cutest girl in high school
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 EGOROTICA
 
Songs
> Me of mine
> Daddy's little me
> All I Need is Love
> I Honestly Love Me
> He ain't heavy , he's me
 > I am so beautiful ..... to me
> And That's What I like About Myself
Sayings
>
Today...I will marry myself
> I owe all of my success to my personal relationship with me
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> I'm afraid that may be sexually harassing myself
> When I am in a dilemma, I ask myself, "What would I do in a situation like this?"
> I belong to: The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Me, and People for the Ethical Treatment of Me
> Here's a fun thing : Have yourself cloned, have the clone sex-changed, and then marry the beast. If it doesn't work out, you'll only have yourself to blame
 

 HEROES
 
Dead
>
Mahatma Gandhi : reading his biography as a young man forever changed me. He gained immense power by shunning power.
>
Martin Luther King Jr.: A saint in every sense of the word. His life should be studied by everyone who admires courage and spirituality.
> Bobby Kennedy : no great philosophical reasoning here. I just loved what I saw of this man
> Cleveland Amory : A man I can try to emulate. Literate, cranky, opinionated, and a defender of the weak
> Timothy Leary (the public figure) : A troublemaking iconoclast. What's not to like?
> Caesar Chavez
> Jesus (He was so cool)

(temporarily) Living:
>Tom Regan
> Paul McCartney
> You
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INFLUENCES
 
 > Music The Beatles / Billy Joel / Steely Dan / Sinatra / Tchaikovsky / Stravinsky / Bach (see Favorite Composers )
> Watching the Lawrence Welk show on TV as a child exposed me to many types of music at an early age
> Writing Woody Allen / Ben Franklin / Mark Twain
> Style Capt. James T. Kirk / Ralph Kramden / Cleveland Amory / Mr. Spock / the Kennedys
> Humor Woody Allen / Monty Python / Second City TV / Saturday Night Live / Steve Martin / George Carlin
> Spirit Gandhi / Carl Jung / Joseph Campbell / Jesus / and many unfamous people as well
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 LIKES
 
> Generally, I like what the masses like, and I'm proud of it. Today, pop culture is culture and it's getting better all the time.
> The Mummer's Parade / Animals / Music / TV / Warner Brothers Cartoons / Disney Classic Comic Books / Alcohol / Private Dancing / Flat Soda (who needs bubbles?) / Whipped cream on graham crackers / P&J sandwich w/ pickle & tomato soup / Baseball / Van Gogh / Biographies / Eating croutons right ot of the box
> I like winter, 'cause the dog-doo freezes
> Favorite color; non-red
> Movies : The Misfits / 42nd Street / Singin' in the Rain / South Pacific / Mad Mad World / Play it Again Sam / Sleeper / Wizard of Oz / Babe / Groundhog Day/
> I sleep in a large pile of cedar chips. It gives me a delightful aroma, and prevents me from being attacked in my sleep
> I think good manners are important. There's nothing phony about saying "I disagree with you (or even, "I don't like you"), but I will treat you with civility" (here, here, old chap). The only exception would be if someone steals your duct tape. Then they should be hunted down and pulverized
> FYI: This is how I prefer to be introduced at informal gatherings; "Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Hear Ye, his Stupenditudinous Luminosity, the stone-cold righteous Jimbob the First, Lord of the Ducks, Monarch of South Central Tinytown, Defender of the Metric System. Please remain standing until all fopish promenading has ceased"
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 DISLIKES  
> Psychotherapy / Meat / Alcohol / Public Dancing / Cooking shows / bullies / people who smell like soap (although I guess there are worse things to smell like)
> People who call other people "chief", "sport", "boss", and the like
> The book "The Road Less Traveled" (it made me nuts - I may sue)
> Rudest Awakenings; Discovering that great and powerful people could be petty and ignorant / Learning that "not all fabric-softeners are the same" / Accepting that "Smellevision" was never going to happen / Realizing that all drinking-straw covers were now perforated, but we still have nuclear weapons / Spring never waits for me to fall in love
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 MY MISSION
 
 To make man kinder , to nurture the compassionate elements in our makeup / To spread laughter / To write & play good music / To tell a good story / To.... uh, ...to...grow spiritually. Oh, I can't believe I said that. I think I'm going to barf (it's OK Jimbob, you did the right thing) / To stretch language and advance communication (or do just the opposite, I'm not quite sure) / To soak up the world and sprout new ideas 2

 WHAT'S UP WITH...
 
> Unicycles ??
> "Froggy" of the Little Rascals
> Pogo sticks. Ten-second bursts of off-balance, bone-rattling non-fun
> The mondo Bizarro songs: Duke of Earl / My Baby Takes the Morning Train
> The prehistoric tribe that discovered marijuana - imagine all the noxious weeds they had to smoke before finding one that had a "pleasant" effect. What the hell were they doing?
> Remember all those people back in '69 who thought the moon landing was a hoax? Can you say DUUUUHHHH? Gee, I wonder what they're believing today
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 NICKNAMES / ALTER EGOS
 
 I have been called many names through the ages:
Jimbob ; Bob and I were the only two white guys on the softball team, so everyone called us both jimbob - it was just easier
Doctor Space ; My band mates called me "Space on Bass" due to my detached demeanor. As I grew more spacey, the honorary title "doctor" was added
Mad Dog ; from my youthful, manic mailman days
King of the Ducks ; During a religious experience at an arboretum, I became aware that I could communicate with my mallard brethren. They told me of the legend of the Duck of Peace (who actually flew right over my head years later on a "beer trip" s/he was pure white & glowed like Las Vegas)
Big "S ";The shape of my posture (ergonomically advanced)
Count Frisky : I just made that one up
King Vivarin : Don't bother him - he's sleeping
Mobjib : My parallel-universe anti -matter counterpart (he has a goatee- I don't). We must NEVER meet!
Rat-dog-boy : Avenger of the oppressed
Droopy : Little childr en gave me that name during my drinkin' days
Harris Vulgaris : Appears beneath my freeze-framed likeness in a Road Runner cartoon
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FEEDBACK  
 > Send me your tired, your weak, your weary comments, longing to be free. I'd love to hear from you.
> Tell me what parts of this website you like (or don't like)
> Are there any additional topics you think I could add ?
> If you'd like to use any of my words or music for your project (or whatever), let's talk
- - - - email jimbob - - - -
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PRODUCTS
 
 > I don't have any products. Some possibles are; comedy videos, T-shirts, etc., with some profound statement or other of mine emblazoned on them. Any thoughts? A necklace of fingernail clippings? (This is America - I have to sell something - plus, I need new teeth !) 2

ODD OCCURRENCES
 
> Incidents of synchronicity (weird coincidences) in my life are too numerous to mention, but they convince me that someone is watching. They seem to proliferate around "nodes" (i.e., times of change) in my personal life. They never give me advice or privileged information, they just tell me that I'm not alone. Perhaps they're God's reassuring way of saying, "I'm here"
> A late night telephone call informed me that my cousin had died in a fall - no further information. I went back to sleep and had a vivid dream in which a fortune teller said one word - "stargazer" A few days later, I learned that my late cousin had gone out on a deck to look at the stars, and had fallen down some steps
> Almost all of my dream revelations have been news of things that have already happened (earthquakes, floods, etc.), but of which I had no previous knowledge. Sometimes I even receive the name of the city. Am I picking up TV broadcasts in my head?
> Recurring dream: I'm running naked through Grand Central Station on very short legs from a shadowy figure who stabs me in the teeth as I fall off a cliff (and that's the good part)
> I was walking down a busy street after leaving a training session. I had forgotten to remove my "Hello, my name is JIM" tag. A strong wind ripped it from my jacket, and I watched as it fluttered through the air and neatly affixed itself to the back of a man sleeping on the sidewalk. Now, if that ain't an omen . . .
> My partner was dreaming about a fire, and I woke her up by yelling "fire" in my sleep
> Several times, while trying to compose a song lyric, total strangers on the street would say something to me containing the exact line that I was searching for
> I was watching Elton John sing "Don't Let the Sun go Down on Me" at an outdoor concert. I turned my eyes Heavenward and silently wished, "please let me have time to realize my dreams". Just then, a huge green meteorite streaked across the sky.
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TO THE YOUNGSTERS
 
> I was you, but you were never me
> Kids, stay in school (till you're 45, if possible)
> Be productive, not reproductive. Don't just make humans, make humans better
> If an adult asks you what you want to be when you grow up, say something grandiose (brain surgeon, Pope, etc.) to impress them. You will be praised as if you had actually already done something. Remember, you're under no obligation, and , years from now, no one will remember what you said anyway, even if they are still alive.
> As you go through life, remember, it doesn't matter how much money you make or how much you know, all that matters is how cute you are
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 POSSIBLE AUTOBIOGRAPHY TITLES
 
> The Many Sides of Me / Unsafe at Any Speed / No Point Intended / Three Cheers for Me / Not Just Nuts / Too Tired to Mambo
> Earth to Jimbob / Unscrewed / All Nuts, All the Time / The Ballad of Me / Full Frontal Honesty / Dear Me / Mixed (Unsalted) Feelings
> Dancing in my Head / By Self Contained / Barely Here / The Incoherent Ramblings of a Life-Long Recluse Who Doesn't Even Have a Name / Semi-Detached / Beside Myself / Two Paychecks from the Street / Thinkin' Out Loud
> Flirting with Reality / Good Self, Bad Self / Semiconsciencious / Madman, Mongrel, Father of Scores / Dating Myself / Am I Talkin' to Me? / Cathoholic / Generation Me / Blind Inhibition / Private Parts / Temporarily Sane / Reflections from the Far Middle
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