Parodies Jim performed at The Compassionate Living Festival, in Raleigh, North Carolina,

October 7 & 8, 2005

by Jim Harris & Martha Michael

Friday 10/07/05


WELCOME TO RALEIGH BEAGLE AND COLLIE
WELCOME TO EVERY KIND OF ANIMAL TONIGHT

REPTILE OR HUMAN THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM IN
OUR HOUSE FOR EVERY KIND OF ANIMAL
IN SIGHT

FEATHER AND FUR FLIPPER AND FIN
OPEN THE DOOR WELCOME THEM IN

EXPLOITED CLASSES POOR HUDDLED MASSES
ALL WHO ARE YEARNING FOR THE LIGHT
WE WILL RESPECT THEM
TRY TO PROTECT THEM
ANIMALS TOMORROW ANIMALS TONIGHT

YOU GOTTA GO WHEREVER
CONSCIENCE LEADS YOU
DO IT ALL ALONE IF YOU NEED TO
BE A TOWER OF, BE A POWER OF ONE

YOU GOTTA SPEAK YOUR MIND
SAY WHAT YOUR THINKING
FACE THE MUSIC WITHOUT BLINKING
THAT'S THE DUTY OF
THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF ONE

AS LONG AS THERE'S STILL ONE OF US
THEN THERE IS HOPE HOWEVER SMALL
AND IF THE WORLD MAKES FUN OF US
IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL

IT JUST TAKES ONE GOOD APPLE
ONE SMART COOKIE
ONE RED CENT ONE GREEN ROOKIE
THAT'S THE POWER OF THAT'S THE FLOWER OF
WE NEVER SOUR OF THIS IS THE HOUR OF
TRUST THE BRIGHTNESS OF
THE UTTER RIGHTNESS OF
ALL YOU NEED IS ONE, ONE
THAT'S THE POWER OF ONE

WE'VE GOT MOVERS AND SHAKERS
POLICY MAKERS
CHAMPIONS AND ADVOCATES
FOR ANIMALS TONIGHT

WE'VE GOT PREACHERS AND PAGANS
VEGANS AND REGANS
EXPERTS IN EVERYTHING HUMANE
SATURDAY WE'VE EVEN GOT
A MEMBER OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS
THEY'D LOVE TO TURN...YOU...ON

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE MEAN TO A MOON BEAR
BETTER NOT FALL ASLEEP ON YOUR FARM.
BECAUSE JILL ROBINSON WILL BE SOON THERE
TO PROTECT THEM FROM TORMENT AND HARM.

AND THERE IS DANGER JILL ROBINSON.
IN CHINA TONIGHT
BUT SHE WILL WORK 'TIL THE JOB IS DONE
IN THE SERVICE OF RIGHT

CAN I JUST SAVE ONE MORE MOON BEAR
WITH YOU, JUST ONE.
CAN I ENHANCE THEIR CHANCE TO LIVE
IN PEACE AND LOVE.

YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE
INGRID NEWKIRK'S HERE
SHE'S THE ONE THAT ALL THE
GIANT CORPORATIONS FEAR
IF YOU MISBEHAVE, CONSEQUENCES GRAVE
SHE'LL SENT HEAT TO THE STREET
WHERE YOU LIVE

AND OH THE TOWERING FEELING
JUST TO SEE
CORPORATE SPOKESPEOPLE SQUIRM
THE OVERPOWERING FEELING
THAT WE ARE WITNESSING
THE TURNING OF THE WORM

PEOPLE CURSE AND SWEAR
THEY DON'T BOTHER HER.
IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD
YOU GOTTA CAUSE A STIR.
SHE'S A MIGHTY ONE
THANKS FOR ALL SHE'S DONE.
LIFE IS SWEET ON THE STREET WHERE SHE LIVES

WELCOME TO RALEIGH EAT AND BE JOLLY
BUT DON'T FORGET WHY WE ARE HERE
ANIMALS TOMORROW ANIMALS ON SUNDAY
ANIMALS FOREVER ANIMALS TONIGHT
---------------------------------------

SOME HAVE CALLED WHOLE FOODS
JOHN MACKEY'S EMPIRE.
150 STORES AND MORE TO COME
BRINGING MORE COMPASSION TO THE TABLE
A MODEL FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM

I USED TO BE A CARELESS NAME BRAND BUYER
FIRMLY IN THE POCKET OF THE MAN
NOW I MUST ASPIRE TO BE HIGHER
SUPPORTING HUMANE TREATMENT
WHEN I CAN

THIS IS WHOLE FOODS, MY FRIENDS
WHERE EXPLOITATION ENDS
AND WE DEFEND THE PLANET EVERY DAY
OH NO, ITS NOT TOO LATE
IF WE COOPERATE,
THIS IS WHOLE FOODS, THIS IS A BETTER WAY

I USED TO GET MY GROCERIES AT THE WALMART
PROCESSED FOODS AND TOXIC HOUSEHOLD GOODS
NOW I KNOW A RICE CAKE FROM A POP TART
LIKE ALL THE OTHER HIPPIES IN THE HOOD

 

THERE WAS A TIME I NEVER BOUGHT ORGANIC
DINNERTIME MEANT ORDERS ON THE PHONE
RUNNING OUT OF FRITOS MADE ME PANIC
NOW IT'S ALL ORGANICALLY GROWN

THIS IS WHOLE FOODS, MY FRIENDS,
WHERE EXPLOITATION ENDS
AND WE DEFEND THE PLANET EVERY DAY
SAY NO TO FACTORY FARMS, EAT HEALTHY DO NO HARM
THIS IS WHOLE FOODS, THIS IS A BETTER WAY


Friday 10/07/05


FISH GOTTA SWIM BIRDS GOTTA FLY
ON MY ACCOUNT NO ONE SHOULD DIE
CAN'T HELP LOVIN' THAT VEGAN FOOD

MUST IT BE BROWN AND LUMPY.
I DON'T ASK MUCH, I'M A REASONABLE GUY
ONE OF THESE MORNINGS
MAYBE THEY'LL MAKE IT GOOD LOOKIN
SO HUSH ALL YOU VEGAS DON'T YOU CRY

VEGAN COOKIN', THAT VEGAN COOKIN'
I FEED IT TO FIDO, WHEN NO ONE'S LOOKIN'
BUT HE WON'T EAT IT,
CAUSE IT'S NOT MEAT, IT'S VEGAN.

WINTER SQUASH WE MASH AND STRAIN
BARLEY, MILLET AND OTHER GRAIN.
PUNGENT PODS THAT GROW ON TREES.
YOU GET A LITTLE DRUNK
AND PRETEND IT'S CHEESE

DON'T GET WEARY OF HEALTHY DINING
JUST KEEP ON CHEWING
AND STOP YOUR WHINING,
CAUSE VEGAN COOKIN'
IT KEEPS US ROLLING ALONG
-------------------------------

DEEP DOWN IN CAROLINA DOWN IN RALEIGH D
NORTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY
THERE LIVED A GENTLE MAN WHO WAS DESTINED TO BE
PROFESSOR EMERITUS OF PHILOSOPHY
HE WROTE DE BOTTOM LINE FOR DE ANIMAL RIGHTS
AND HE'S SITTIN' RIGHT HERE TONIGHT

CHORUS
WHO, WHO IS THE MAN
WHO GAVE US A PLAN
WHO, WHO CAN IT BE
WHO, PLEASE TELL IT TO ME
WHO, IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW
TOM REGAN THAT'S WHO
-------------------------

GOOD LORD STRATFORD WENT TO LONDON
FRIEND OF FOX AND PONY
BLUNT, ACERBIC, PETULANT
BUT NEVER DULL OR DRONY

TONY BANKS FOR PRESIDENT
TONY BANKS FOREVER
WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS SELF EVIDENT
HE'S HONEST, KIND AND CLEVER
WISH WE HAD SOMEONE LIKE YOU
YE OF NO BALONEY
ALL WE'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO TO / IS DUBYA AND HIS CRONIES

ALL OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
OUR LEADERS SHOULD BE NOTING.
THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE
IF ANIMALS WERE VOTING.

WISH YOU WERE THE PRESIDENT
WE'D BE GLAD TO HAVE YOU
AS THE LATEST RESIDENT
OF PENNSYLVANIA AV'NUE
WISH WE HAD SOMEONE LIKE YOU
NEVER FALSE OR PHONY
RAISE YOUR GLASS IN TRIBUTE TO
OUR FAVORITE BRITISH TONY

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